Adapting and adjusting..

Finally got back my internet after 2 weeks. Finished 4 weeks of Gen Med rotation., 4 more to go. Things did get better now. Start to adjust myself to a system where there is no timetable, no one cares whether you appear in the ward or not. No one will tell you what you need to know and everyone is telling you "hey, u should go back and don stay in hospital anymore, y be so hardworking? Go back and do your own study!!"

At 1st really feel damn lost and aimless. I thought being in clinical years means we need to stay in hospital and do practical stuffs rather then stay at home or library study. Wandering in the ward like no man soul everyday for the 1st and 2nd week. Finally at the 3rd week i think i should do something to change my life. Then I pick up a skill called thick skin. Haha. Now what I will do is go ward by ward and intro myself as a 4th yr student and asked for any ptn with good history and good sign that is worth seeing. Sometime if I ws lucky enough i will find some kind intern or registrar to discuss the case with me but most of the time im all on my own. Although still dunno whether this is de best way to learn but at least I felt i am doing something.

Kinda miss days in IMU now. Everything is structured. And most importantly I always got a bunch of friends to hang out and to study with. Eventho things did happened in between but at the end of the days we will still call ourselves a 'family'. No matter how when things happened I know I will never be alone.

At here, basically I am jus an intruder that come from a planet call IMU. God knows how and why I can jump in straight into 4th year without taking their entry exam and interviews.Every new encounter with new ppl these are the frequent question that they will ask: 1.what the heck is IMU? 2. Isn't it a university that accept student that NUS don't want and those rejected by UM? 3. How you all can cramp everything in 2 and 1/2 yr. What did u all learn? How is it possible? 4. How is the standard over there?

I got to admit I did met with some ppl they eventho they ask the same set of question and I wont feel offended but most of the time yea..I did felt awkward. How am I supposed to explain to them how the whole matching works, how we study thing so damn fast? Hmmm..so the best way I can think of is to show them instead of spending time explaining the unexplainable thing.

Had a few clinical tutorial recently and truely speaking I feel that IMU's teaching is sufficient enough. Although there are some area like Pharmaco and Infectious Disease the student here are way better than us, othere than that we are all quite on par. So I really don't see the problem for me to being here with them eventhough I didnt go through their selection procedure.

Sometime really in a dilemma. I felt really weird when ppl ask me y am i always in hospital so early and come in hospital everyday. Maybe to them I just too hard core and kiasu but i thought this is what i supposed to do? Sometime when doctor ask a question and no one knows the answer and i answered it, ppl will look at me as if i am an alien. Worst is when I said a correct answer and all the others were like what the hell she is talking? Hate that kind of feeling. It made me felt so out of place and as if I said something wrong.

Spending most pf my time in hospital and my home sweet home. Thank god I moved out to a place that I really like it. Luckily I got this little comfort zone to lie back when I feel so tired. I would say I am pretty much adapt to the life here. Sometime did feel I should mix with more of my batchmates and maybe hang out with them but I really hate to do thing that I feel so out of the place. Hence I spent most of my time alone. Eat alone, go hosp and sch alone, study alone, jog alone, stroll alone, watch drama alone..but I am not really lonely..Weird right..Feel so not like my usual self.

Am i really adapted to this new life or am I just psycho-ing myself? I am confused sometime...

oh ya, to jackie and jane june. U guys going off soon right.All the best ya. Good Luck. Bring out the best of IMU to UK. And to all the seremban-ian, happy sch reopen and all the best as well. Miss you guys lot...